
OK. It's definitely the fucking. The fucking is worse.

The iCub,
an open-source robot officially funded by the EU, is more of a platform for robotic learning than a specific, task-based machine. And on that platform sits a bug-eyed chihuahua, the creepy child from any horror movie that “just wants to play” and the uncaring bare steel skeleton of the Terminator.

"Soon. Soooon..."
The iCub is (and keep in mind that, though the emphasis is mine, the following words are all from the inventors themselves) designed to be "capable of locomotion, interaction and language learning, track objects visually
or even by sound, learn emotionally like a child,
predict where objects will be next, develop more complex behaviors and how certain objects are
best manipulated,” and finally--I shit you not here--“the most key skill [it] needs… is an ability to reach towards a fixed point… to reach outwards and
close its fingers around an object.”
You want to tell me that's just harmless object-interaction learning and not a child-like steel strangulation machine? Then explain why it's reaching for you in every...

Single.

Picture.

If you don't immediately recognize that as the body language for “impending murder,” then congratulations! You've just qualified to sign up for the iCub Beta program. Be sure your home is equipped with plenty of stairs and ramps so the iCub can "interact" with you eye-to-eye, and remember to disconnect all phone lines so as to not to interfere with the delicate robot's computers. Oh, and no need to sign up or submit your address, it will get to you eventually. Probably in the shower. Just after the lights mysteriously go out.