Or not. Perhaps fearing that someone would assume they're underachieving, or even worse, that they can't come up with a sexier name than the one the thing already has, no sex toy makers that I could find have taken the bait and created flashing, multi-functioning Doctor-themed vibrators. Instead, here's a goddamned TARDIS butt plug. That ... doesn't even make any sense. Why would you want to stick the hero's clunky vehicle in your butt? Ah, that was stupid of me to ask. We live in a world where Pteranodon porn is a thing, so I suppose I should be grateful that's not an actual replica. Then again, I'm pretty sure someone, somewhere, is shoving a TARDIS scale model up their butt right now, so uh, let's not pursue that train of thought any longer.
And of course that damn Etsy plug is not the only TARDIS-related Doctor Who sex toy out there. Consider the Tickler, which is a custom-designed TARDIS dildo, because really, did you expect anything else?
Somewhere in there, a tiny Peter Capaldi has been screaming "Nooooooooo!" continuously for a decade.