Bonanza told the story of the lovable Cartwright family, lasting 431 episodes. So to catch up audiences with the new season, NBC and I have come to the agreement that it would be best to remove NBC's entire nightly lineup to make room for Bonanza reruns. Shows like American Ninja Warrior, The Blacklist, and Law & Order: SVU have been effectively cancelled (until we bring them back in 2030) to make room for what we'll call NBC'S BONANZA BLOCK, which is just episodes of Bonanza played ceaselessly until we can make it through all 431 heartwarming tales of adventure and whimsy. If a major news story or the Olympics occurs during NBC'S BONANZA BLOCK, we believe it is our right to ignore it entirely.
This will all lead up to the NBC mega event THE BONANZA RETURNS (named by me), which will feature not one, not two, but 18 one-hour-long episodes of THE BONANZA RETURNS (also named by me). "What will these episodes be about, Lee? Most of the cast of Bonanza is dead!" Check out some of these episode descriptions, which are sure to leave Bonanza superfans thirsting for more, and Bonanza conspiracy theorists searching for deeper meaning:
Episode 1, "The Bonanza Returns": An hour-long shot of the burial site of each Bonanza actor, played simultaneously. Meanwhile, the Bonanza theme loops constantly in the background to make all the death less sad.
Episode 2, "The Bonanza Returns 2": A NEW generation of the Cartwright family, led by wacky parents Tony Cartwright (John Goodman) and Jessica Cartwright (Mindy Kaling), move into the old Cartwright house. Jokes are aplenty, and the episode ends with Tony telling viewers which members of the original cast will not be returning. Meanwhile, the Bonanza theme loops constantly in the background.
CBS Television Distribution