A lot of theaters now use high-def monitors to display their menus, kind of like how I have a T-800 Terminator carry my groceries into my home for me. I know it's not the best use of his time and power, but I sent him to myself from the future for a reason, and that must be it. Movie theaters seem to be aware they're wasting this technology, so they try to justify it by occasionally having the menu overtaken by a full-motion video of soda splashing and popcorn flying and chicken tenders flopping about while I'm trying to decide if I want nachos or an eight-pound glazed ham.
My meditation on the plethora of almost-satisfying quasi-meals is interrupted by theater owners proudly declaring that mankind built the pyramids and walked on the moon, and now making a movie theater menu move a little is the next logical step in human achievement. Thinking of it like that, I guess I should be in more awe of their achievement. I also used to get excited and make everyone come see the doody I made. High school was a magical time. You're right, movie theater owners. Maybe I'm not appreciating the wonder of the eight-second window between the menu's screensaver turning on and the employee behind the scenes scrambling to move the mouse. There's nothing quite like having to sit through footage of French fries and chicken tenders colliding in midair because years ago an idiot thought food is most appetizing when it's being thrown.