And that's just Chase herself. Although her origin story is considerably closer to a Batman villain than a do-gooder, this "hopeless" cat is also bringing a whole lot of good in the world. Chase works as a therapy cat, traveling to hospitals and schools with her owner, her amazing story inspiring kids and patients with deformities to create their own survival stories, complete with a popular blog and inspirational Facebook page her owner keeps in her name. She's basically a Grumpy Cat that actually does something useful.
So yeah. Sometimes, it's good to know that the next time you get your face ripped off in a freak accident, you have other options in life than outright supervillainy.
A Wounded Stray Dog Survives the Amazon Jungle ... Then Completes One of the World's Hardest Races
In 2014, a Swedish extreme adventure team was taking part in a ridiculously difficult 430-mile race along the Amazon when they came upon a dog. Actually, it was the dog that came upon them. The men were enjoying their meal in the jungles of Ecuador when a muddy, bleeding stray mutt they would come to call Arthur suddenly appeared from the depths of the rainforest. The team didn't know where it came from or how it had survived in the hostile environment -- all they knew was that it was there, and seemed hungry. So they offered the dog a Swedish meatball, because sometimes cliches are cliches for a reason. In exchange, Arthur, presumably delighted to meet creatures who weren't actively trying to eat and/or maul him, offered them his unconditional love.
And I mean unconditional.
When the team packed their bags and resumed the race, Arthur followed them. Throughout the entire race.
It was a grueling affair even for supremely conditioned athletes, let alone a wounded, malnourished dog. Yet no matter where the route took the team, Arthur followed. When they were struggling through mud, so was the dog. When a teammate was injured and required medical attention, Arthur stood vigil with him as they waited for the medics. The team tried to send him away multiple times, fearing for his safety as the route was getting more difficult. He was having none of it; Arthur was there to stay. When the team entered the final leg of the race, a difficult 36-mile coastal kayak ride, it seemed that Arthur could follow no more. They gave the dog their solemn goodbyes and paddled away. Arthur jumped right in the water and swam after them.
This was the final straw for the team. To great applause from spectators and officials, they helped the wet, exhausted dog to the kayak, where he would remain throughout the race. Which, incidentally, meant that they threw their last chance of winning to the wind, seeing as how they were now in a kayak with a wet and super-excitable dog -- a challenging situation even when you're not actively Supermanning through dangerous waters. Immediately after they crossed the finishing line, they began a long and arduous process to get Arthur to Sweden with them, which they were eventually able to secure with some help from their sponsors.
Who were apparently the only people they could find with actual souls.
The fact that Arthur was able and willing to keep up with the team to the extent that he did was amazing, but that he managed it in the condition he was in was outright miraculous: According to the team's Facebook page, Arthur did his endurance racing with several deep wounds across his back, along with a whole host of smaller health issues that come when you're a small dog living in the freaking jungle.
It should probably go without saying that the Swedish Team Peak Performance now has five members.
Pauli Poisuo is a Cracked freelance editor and weekly columnist. Join his gang on Facebook and Twitter.
For more from Pauli, check out 5 Disastrous Ways People Tried to Make Porn a Reality and 5 Insane Ways to Abuse Your Body to Greatness (Tested).
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