But something weird happened in my early 30s, and I'm not sure where it came from or why. I got painfully shy around strangers. It wasn't a gradual transition, as far as I can remember -- one week, I was having the time of my life, opening beer bottles with my butt cheeks and waking up with shitty tattoos. The next, I couldn't bear the thought of being around groups of people anymore.
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"Fuck all of you. Go away."
Flash forward to the present day, and it's a struggle to get me out of the house. I have a trip coming up in December, and the mere thought of walking through the airport sets my nerves on edge like the day before all five of my penis reduction surgeries. I'm not even worried about the idea of flying. I'm nervous about being around all those people.
Shyness is so hard to change because your mind is constantly telling you that it's safe and comfortable at home, far removed from the buzzing mob at the grocery store. You find yourself making decisions like "Do I endure the stress to go restock my toilet paper? Or do I play it safe and just use those T-shirts that I never wear anymore?"
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