The man behind the Solid Muldoon was George Hull: entrepreneur, trickster, and infamous creator of the Cardiff Giant, a "petrified giant" that had been making profitable sideshow rounds a few years earlier until someone pointed out that it was in fact just a stone statue. The Solid Muldoon was his second attempt at nude stone giants, and this time, it was personal. Hull wanted his new fake XXXL corpse to be as realistic as possible, so he commissioned an artist to fashion it from mortar, rock dust, clay, plaster, ground bones, blood, and actual meat, all kiln-baked to create that exact "petrified man" experience. Am ... am I the only one who's getting serial killer vibes from this?
Via Solid Muldoon
A man who commissions a 7-foot man-shaped sausage and lures people to see it is a man with a fridge full of faces.
Using different middlemen and securing endorsements from influential newspapers and bullshitter extraordinaire P.T. Barnum alike, Hull managed to convince the public that the Solid Muldoon was not only worth seeing, but totally the real deal, unlike that stupid Cardiff Giant hoax some absolute asshat had been scamming people with lately. According to some accounts, Hull even managed to fool scientists with his creation, because he had hidden a real skeleton and other human bits inside it. This, if true, raises a good few questions that will in no way haunt your dreams tonight.
"You can tell by my halo that I barely ever murder anyone and hide their corpses inside giant mortar monsters."
The figure gained its nickname after a popular tune of the same name. It quickly rose from the talk of the town to the talk of half the country, to the point where P.T. Barnum himself started throwing money at Hull in order to acquire his 7-foot license to print money. Sadly, all good things must come to an end, whether it was because the meat in Solid Muldoon finally went too vile to handle or because Hull's business partner snapped and revealed the Muldoon as a hoax. Public interest waned, and that was that. In a totally-not-creepy-at-all move (considering that some suspect it actually contained human parts), the Muldoon was buried in a roadside grave in Beulah Valley, Colorado.
As for Hull, its creator, a man who built petrified part-meat puppets for fun and profit: He disappeared from the annals of show business history. He may have returned to his day job, or he may have continued his experiments in fusing stone and flesh into one never-quite-alive, never-quite-dead mass of anguish. Hell, he may even have tried the trick on himself, turning into an immortal stone-clay-flesh creature, hell-bent on increasing his ever-growing underground army of Solid Muldoons. But he's definitely not hiding behind your couch right now, slowly stirring a pot of mortar and ready to pounce. Ha, that would be insane.
Say, what was that sound?
Pauli Poisuo is probably not a forgery. Follow him on Twitter.