There's a fantastic storyline wherein Multiple Man (who, if you're not up to speed on the policies of naming superheroes, is a man that can transform into multiple men) decides he needs to "get himself together" literally, and he goes around finding all of the versions of himself he sent off into the world who never returned. He even finds one who's married and started a family without him, which is a no-no according to Isaac Newton's Laws of Multiple-Manning.
Side note: Imagine how much therapy the child needed after Multiple Man reabsorbed his dad. I guess "Your dad was just a fraction of another person" is a better excuse for child abandonment than going on a cigarette run, but it's going to be hard to find a psychiatrist who will understand "Had a father once, but he got sucked up into another guy who looked like my father."
That's just one storyline for one character. X-Factor Investigations also follows Wolfsbane, whose power is just straight-up being a werewolf, Siren, the daughter of the classic X-Man Banshee, and Strong Guy, whose power you will never be able to guess, especially if you were stumped by the whole "multiple man" thing from a few paragraphs ago. They all have great stories.
The only thing Inhumans makes me think about is "What the hell is going on with Medusa's wig?" In fact, pretty much all of the lady hair in Inhumans is baffling. Is there only one hairdresser on Attilan, and if so, why are they so terrible at their job? Did the Terrigen Mist that creates Inhumans turn the hairdresser's arms into tentacles, and everyone wants to make them feel OK about it? These are the hard-hitting Inhumans questions that keep me up at night.
Mercs for Money started as a way for Deadpool to "franchise" his name to other mercenaries who could make more money by pretending to be "the famous mercenary Deadpool." Unsurprisingly, a superhero team ran by Deadpool did not go well, because a damn bake sale run by Deadpool wouldn't go well.
The team is quickly taken over by former X-Man Domino, and also includes members such as Massacre, who continues to wear a crappy handmade Deadpool costume, Hit-Monkey, a regular monkey that learned how to be a hitman, Negasonic Teenage Warhead, whom you may remember from the little-known indie comedy Deadpool, and Gorilla Man, who is a primate as well. Yes, this team has two primates, two goth girls, and two Deadpools. It's the Noah's Ark of comic book characters who will murder people for money.
Beyond just having interesting characters, it has characters with really cool powers. Deadpool has tons of fun with his healing factor, and Domino can telekinetically influence probability in her favor, which means she has Final Destination powers and will definitely kill you with a weird Rube Goldberg death machine. On the other hand, the formula for making Inhuman powers was apparently picking a body part and making it "dangerous." Earthquake feet, super whispers, and danger hair all make appearances in the trailer. I don't even want to think about what they come up with when they start adding new characters halfway through the first season. This is Marvel's greatest opportunity to introduce a character who creates psionic booty energy by twerking.
When I asked my friends if they wanted to go see the Inhumans debut, I then had to add "Yes, I'm OK, and no one is forcing me to see it." I wanted to see Inhumans because I like Marvel and I want them to succeed, but as a friend, I feel like I should also let them know that they can do better.
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There's a member of the Inhumans named Lockjaw. Like, that's this person's superhero name. Lockjaw... We're not going to bother to find out what is surely a fascinating origin story, but maybe you can read about it here and tell us the details later.
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