customer service is on your side. You think
you hate it when your insurance or cable company raises your rates? Imagine how the people who have to take the resulting deluge of angry phone calls feel about it. Trust me, those increases aren't going toward giving them big raises and fat bonus checks. The only thing your higher bill gives a customer service rep is a tension headache from being screamed at all day and an overwhelming urge to get blackout drunk.
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"How can I help you propel me toward a debilitating addiction today?"
So, they get it. You're both on the same team. You have a problem with a company that in all likelihood they hate more personally and intimately than you ever could. Of course, I can't speak for customer service reps in India or the Philippines, because I've never worked in an overseas call center. But I'm assuming they just hate America in general, like the rest of the world. So you should still have them in your pocket. It's fine to go into a customer service call with somewhat of a battlefield mentality. But just understand, that customer service rep who hates the company they work for can be your ally on that battlefield. But they probably won't be, and that will be all your fault. Why? Because there's one rule of calling customer service that just about every asshole on the planet lives by ...
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Screaming Like a Lunatic Is Your Best Option
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Admit it, everything you know about calling customer service boils down to one simple idea ... scream at enough people for long enough, and you'll always get what you want. That might be somewhat true, but understand, it's a bit like saying "Kick hard enough and you'll open every door" and making that your default means of entering every building you encounter. Wouldn't it make more sense to, you know, try opening the door like a normal person first? Customer service is the exact same way. While screaming might get you what you want eventually, it's the least efficient means of getting it. Immediately launching into a rage-filled tirade just puts the customer service rep on the defensive. At that point, everything I just said about them being on your side flies right the fuck out the window. You're no longer a person they want to help, you're now a person they want to see doused with gasoline and set on fire.
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This is not what I had in mind when I Google "burning man."
It's common sense. How do you feel when a person approaches you with a problem and, instead of just talking about it rationally, they start flaring their nostrils and calling you a fuckwad? Are you more willing to help, or are you more inclined to punch that person in the stomach and have a retaliatory affair with their wife? Customer service reps are no different. Ask for their help in a polite way, and they will bend over backward to try to resolve your issue. When a person is paid to take nonstop telephone abuse for eight hours per day, being that caller who doesn't talk to them like a pompous bitch makes you their temporary best friend. But if you immediately start screaming, the only thing they're going to do is hang on your every word hoping you curse so they can hang up on you while simultaneously emailing their co-workers about the maniac (you) losing their shit on the phone because they had to pay a $30 copay on a $10,000 medical bill. If that example seems oddly specific, it's because I actually took that call. And I laughed at the guy. But maybe you're not taking this advice to heart either, because you live by yet another popular mantra when it comes to calling customer service ...