Don't let that child's elation fool you, no kid wants to wear this. It's a Halloween costume idea from Reader's Digest, a magazine that's never been in any danger of brushing a finger across the pulse of pop culture. In fact, I suspect the Reader's Digest editors have no idea that not a single kid has dressed up as a turtle in the last 20 years unless it was also a teenager, a mutant and a ninja. But parents do, and it must be a special treat for them to send their awful kid out into the night with his friends as the famous team of Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo and that shitty, roastin-pan, regular turtle.
"I'm the sensitive one!"
I will give Reader's Digest credit for dressing up the background of the picture with streamers, fearlessly suggesting that not only is this mediocre costume suitable for wandering around in the dark, but also well-lit costume parties. This costume is so gracelessly cobbled together that whoever wears it is probably more likely to be mistaken for a robot, or a baseball catcher, or a meal. For instance, I'm not sure how the hat helps define him as a turtle. In my experience, turtles hate wearing hats. I assume it's only included so the boy has something to hide his shame behind while standing on porches waiting for adults to guess what he is before they'll just give him some of that goddamn candy already. This isn't a costume parents make for their kids, this is a costume a child makes himself out of garbage when his parents are too drunk or too divorced to remember it's Halloween.