People will look back at this genital-squashing contraption and think it's a torture device. They'll be baffled that we had no easier ways to build hamstrings. And that's if they even see the appeal of big hamstrings, or big anything. There's always the possibility that beauty standards will be totally different in the future, that they won't even want huge muscles, that they'll think 2000s-man Dwayne Johnson had some incurable disease. ("The Rock" was his cruel carny nickname.)
Other gym stuff, like aerobics, might not seem so weird in the future, because humans will never stop dancing. But if we ever do figure out drugs to make us stop overeating or to speed our metabolism, some cardio regimens will surely confuse our descendants. "Spin classes?" they'd ask. "What did you learn there?" ("Nothing," you'd admit, sadly.) And treadmills would appear to be totally pointless, since they never actually took you anyplace. You were just running for the hell of it. "Run for fun?" they'd ask a time traveler. "What the hell kind of fun is that?"
"Without Constant Effort And Expense, Their Teeth Would Rot Right Out Of Their Skulls!"
Part of you is rotting away while you're still alive. It's your mouth, full of microbes that shit out acid, dissolving your teeth and leaving the very air you exhale smelling of death. To neutralize the acid and combat this constant decay, you apply complicated gels and pastes. You do this for several minutes, multiple times daily. This keeps the worst at bay but solves nothing. The process never ends.
But it could end. Tooth decay isn't a given. Just look back at ancient skulls that have fairly good teeth for someone who had no dental regimen while alive and then spent thousands of years decomposing underground.
Why's tooth maintenance so much harder for us? The short answer: We eat sugar. The slightly longer answer: After we invented agriculture, an entirely different type of bacteria evolved to live in our mouths. If we can move away from this diet, or find any other way to eradicate that bacteria, we can get rid of tooth decay along with it. And then we'll tell stories about how our ancestors had zombie mouths and struggled to cleanse them with brushes and strings and picks.
Whether or not we ever do get rid of all tooth decay, you can bet we'll get rid of the torture that follows it. Thanks to our old friend stem cells, we'll soon tease teeth into self-repairing whenever they get damaged, which means an end to everything we now call dental work. Dentists will be remembered as mysterious figures, sources of fear for ancient children and adults alike. Their tools certainly look like instruments of interrogation ...
... and their trade will seem barbaric. When a tooth is damaged, they remove a huge chunk with a diamond-tipped drill, then fill the giant hole they created. Once we know how to truly heal teeth, that'll sound like treating a broken finger by amputating the hand then replacing it with a hook. And that's when dentists aren't performing actual amputations -- tooth extractions, which will one day be seen as unforgivable mutilation. The most complex dental procedures are hard to even look at:
But then again, maybe you or I recoil at seeing that only because we've had toothaches and imagine what that must feel like. Maybe people in the future won't react at all. Because they won't know pain.
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For more, check out 7 Real (And Totally Insane) Medical Practices From History and The 10 Most Insane Medical Practices In History.
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