That's Robert Tomanovich, proprietor of Robert's Discount Tree Service in Livonia, MI (note that MI stands for Michigan, not Alabama). Recently, Tomanovich's neighbors became understandably flustered when they noticed a hangman's rope dangling from a tree outside his home. When someone complained about it, that's when a second one appeared, this time at his nearby tree-service business. And even though nooses and trees do go together like the world's darkest s'mores, it's doubtful that the act was intended as a wacky advertisement.
This raised no small amount of concern among nearby residents, as expressed by one neighbor, who did an outstanding job of completely missing the point:
"It's a tree that is easily climbable. Any kid could climb the tree and hang himself."
Another neighbor described the situation a little more accurately:
"One hundred fifty years after Abraham Lincoln's death, we are still going through this kind of atrocity. A hangman's noose and a Confederate flag?"
When a local news team showed up to ask Tomanovich about the situation, he quickly ducked inside his house. But luckily one of his more amenable employees was on the scene, who admitted to hanging the second noose and expressed his remorse by stating, "Screw 'em. I love it. We're going to put up more."
Nope, not at all how we expected that man to look. Not. At. All.
Tomanovich's wife later made herself available to reporters, and in one of the more spectacularly ridiculous defensive arguments of all time, vehemently denied that her husband was in any way racist. According to her, the nooses were actually a tribute to a dead friend who committed suicide by hanging. Which makes total sense -- that's exactly why I have used hypodermic needles scattered across my lawn. It's a tribute to my uncle who died of diabetes.
Tomanovich himself eventually gave a half-hearted attempt to explain his (perfectly legal) actions to the press, but walked away from reporters mid-interview. His explanation? "I had two women in my house naked, and I didn't want them to see them." But before heading off to deal with all the rampant Benny Hill skits taking place inside his house, he proved definitively that what he did wasn't racist by invoking the that old, tried and true standby, "I know black guys. I have black friends."
Sorry, buddy, but this doesn't really count.