It's very easy to place this one in the 5 spot because, of all the dads here, the father of Everclear leader singer Art Alexakis seems to suck the least. Indeed, he seems to have been a super awesome dad for the first 10 years of Art's life. But then, he left. We don't know if he had an emotional breakdown, or if he was married to a hellacious she-beast bent on his destruction, or if he was wanted by the mob and exposing the family to danger. Who knows? Art doesn't say.
Most Cutting Lyric:
My dad he gave me a name
Then he walked away.
Sad song, right? His dad left him and walked away. Even sadder, he left before teaching Art how to shave off that horrific soul patch.
Missed a spot. There's a dab of mediocrity just below your lower lip.
Anyway, compared to the other dads on this list, it seems that Art's dad might be father of the year, but if you're still pissed off at your dad for leaving home, why not visit him and his new wife this Father's Day and slip this song into his hi-fi?
EDIT: Since publication, some have pointed out the lyric in the final stanza about domestic abuse. Yes, obviously, that's a grittier lyric than the one I cited. I was wrong. In my defense, when i re-listened to the song and re-read the lyrics in preparation for this article, I actually got too bored before the very end. That's not a great excuse, but completely true.