So yeah, heal the sick. Volunteer at a hospital. Tend to lepers and whatnot. It's God's work and you won't get any complaint from me.
But no likes it when you offer your lame-ass home remedies or ancient, magical cures for our common colds and tummy aches. "Got the sniffles," you say, seeing us trying to stop the river of mucus flowing from our nostrils armed only with a post-it note. And we just nod because if we open our mouth we might say something like,"no, jackass, this is actually my friend's snot. He asked me to watch it for him while he's out of town."
But hey, you're just being friendly and inquisitive. It's what comes next that really sucks: "Know what you should do?" you ask.
"Hold you down and blow our nose in your shirt?" we think, but that's not it all. You're about to school us:
Eat an onion, take some vitamin C, take some zinc, don't take zinc, try some Echinacea, dance with a grizzly, try the netty pot, starve a fever, feed a cold, have a light lunch with a staph infection. . .
Given all these remedies that totally work, its amazing that anyone gets sick ever or that there's a pharmaceutical industry. And if this person is from another country? Holy hell, there's no end to it. It's as if no one in Ecuador or Guyana or Norway ever gets sick. "Put away that Sudafed! In my country, all colds are cured by sleeping with a porcupine under a waning gibbous moon!"
We don't care. Your ideas are stupid. Leave us to our medications and mucus. And you can go back to eating the shark fin sandwich that's treating your psoriasis.
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