... and then does so by eating every tasty cookie in the bag like some kind of not-so-private dick.
Duncan Hines: Fuck your cookies.
In his Fruit Loops commercial, we see Seth Green's friend eating cereal on a pleasant morning.
"Sure am glad Seth Green isn't here."
Finding this to be the perfect chance to kill vibes, Seth Green walks in and immediately pours himself some of his friend's cereal without even asking.
A "Hey, man, can I have a bowl of cereal?" would've been nice, but young Seth Green takes the Dennis the Menace route and Hey-Mr. Wilson!-I'm-stealing-your-breakfasts his way into the kitchen. However, it's all karmic in the end, as Seth has had a terrible nightmare about growing a beak, which would render that little shit completely unlovable.
But make him millions in the porn fetish industry.
It turns out to be all a dream, but he'll stay scared. Scared forever.
The next commercial takes Seth Green to the mall, where he enjoys his NERF gun and has a comb-over that defies all the physics that come with it.