It turns out that "color" exists in the bizarrely complicated intersection of several different scientific areas, where trucks full of physics, biology, and psychology regularly smash into each other. You were a fool for thinking you understood even a bit of this and should be ashamed of everything you are.
Loving father? Nope. You're just a color idiot.
So, in the interest of getting you back on track with a chance of living a useful life, here I present five surprising facts about color.