Remember when I talked about the person making a huge stink about the music being the worst thing in the world? Well, it's actually a tie. Because the quickest way to lose a friend is to be the type of friend that turns their designated driver status into a symbol of martyrdom. You went out of your way to pick up your fun-having friends and oh, the horror of being surrounded by drunk people that you know and adore, and the agony of the torture of having to get them back to their homes safely. Agreeing to be the designated driver and then complaining that you have to ferry intoxicated buddies around is like going to Wendy's, ordering a Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger, and then crying when you don't get a dozen filet mignons on your tray.
CAVIAR MY ASS.
You knew what you signed up for. And you're ensuring that people you love don't die. Why are you being such an asshole about it?
I mean, I sort of get it. You promise to drive people around and you either go home and wait around for that impending, but unpredictable "Mark got in a fight and they kicked us out. Can you come pick us up?" call, or you go out with them and order a bunch of Cokes. Or you order one beer at the exact right time so that you'll be able to operate a car without feeling the effects of it. Regardless, it's less fun than the fun that your friends are having. And not all designated drivers are pouty messes, but every once in a while, you get one that treats their drunk friends like a foreign movie that they didn't get the subtitles to.
No, you guys just stay over there and enjoy yourselves. I'll be back here, trying to get you to notice me.
But think of it this way: You just got them home, Superman. Sure, you can't jump over a building or shoot heat vision from your eyes, but you got a group of your friends from a place that they can't sleep at back to a place where they can recover. You have ensured that, tomorrow, the newscasters don't say "You know all of those people that you worked to form meaningful connections with? Yeah, they tried to drive home."
"Don't drive home drunk" is something that's preached to you from an early age, so this section might just be one big DUH to you. But I want you to know that, if you were the designated driver last night, and you didn't fuss about the hardships that occur when you're the only friend that can see straight, you can join my Justice League. BuysRoundsForOthersMan, Didn'tPunchSomeoneElseGirl, and I are all going out for drinks later. You should totally come.
Daniel has a blog.
For more check out 4 Signs of Adulthood for Reluctant Grown Ups and 5 Changing Perspectives That Show You've Become An Adult.
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