Don't you hate it when you hear a great joke while simultaneously eating a golf ball? Isn't it the worst when someone makes an oil painting of your stupid face as you're choke-laughing? Doesn't it make you mad when the person painting your picture is famed Americana illustrator Norman Rockwell, and also when three members of your family are surgically grafted to the back of your head?
I'm going to stop asking these questions, as the head waves of acknowledgment are starting a hurricane and my house is ill-prepared for the wind onslaught.
This girl knows what I'm talking about.
Today, we're so quick to hit the camera's delete button that our most unflattering pictures are gone before our brains can even register them. Raucous laughter only counts if it's photogenic, because who wants a record of that time their face made 14 chins? This is why it's kind of weird that old-school advertisers thought disquieting images of people laughing would sell their products. Not polite chuckling. Not pretty smiling or, God help me, smizing. These were wide-eyed, open-mouthed guffaws that are unnatural to anyone outside the dentist's office.
Listen up, kids! This sexually charged rock song is HILARIOUS!