We, the gays, started ruining things in Genesis. No, not the 1980s band featuring Phil Collins -- the very first book of the Bible. Yeah, we didn't waste any time. There was creation, and then BAM! Cities destroyed by h**osexuality.
I don't know how many times you have destroyed entire cities in a rain of tar and fire, but I'll let you know that when your first mistake becomes the word sodomy -- a word that people use to describe anal sex, oral sex, and non-consensual sex -- it is mortifying. Imagine if you got blind drunk one night, crapped on a friend's carpet thinking it was the bathroom, and that became officially known worldwide for thousands of years and in several languages as your name.
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"It is imperative that our children learn from the tale of Ezekiel Deucedropper
so that they may wipe away their sins ... and, uh, other things."
Now, we didn't have access to books and stuff back then either, but gay folklore has it that God sent three angels down from Heaven to Sodom and Gomorrah disguised as men. The townsfolk asked to "know them," which is Bible-slang for doin' it in the butt in this case. The Bible had way better parties than you've ever been to. In their defense, I can imagine the angels looked like Abercrombie models. I mean, who could blame the townsmen? They were notorious man-s**ts.