So peep this (is that still cool slang? f**k it, I'm using it): A fella in Kuala Lumpur was feeling a little inadequate in the trouser department, which is to say in the what's-in-his-trousers department, which is to say the dick department. He had a little dick. Or still does, I suppose. Anyway, in an effort to remedy his situation, he ordered a penis enlarger from one of the world's many purveyors of penis-enlargement technology. But oh what dicky web we weave when first we practice to enlarge, or something very much like that.
When the man's package arrived (not his little weenie; he had that the whole time) he discovered his penis enlarger was not a pump or a ray gun or some manner of embiggening harness. No, it was a magnifying glass complete with instructions to not use it in direct sunlight.
Not that it's wise to go outside with such a sick burn.
To you and I, this is hilarious dick-jokery at its finest, but not so for Wee Willy Winky, who immediately contacted law enforcement to express his disgust over his tiny shame. He'd spent the equivalent of about $177 U.S. on the magnifying glass, so unless it was super awesome, like with a compass in the handle or something, he probably didn't get his money's worth.
Apparently, this sort of scam isn't uncommon, and also, it's just too precious. Keep in mind if you're ever in the market for Malaysian wiener aids that there's a good chance you're just going to end up alone, broke, and slightly more humiliated than you were when you ordered a shady dick pump.