The problem is that being famous is replacing traditional goals. When a poll of 16-year-olds finds that 54 percent of them want to be famous, but only 1 percent want to work in an office and 4 percent want to become teachers, you are setting a whole generation up for a lifetime of feeling like a failure. Working in a sea of cubicles is soul-destroying enough without your broken dreams hanging over you the whole time.

And those dreams of being the first actor-turned-director-turned-astronaut will still be there for most of you. Even once we grow up and get jaded, 40 percent of us still want to be famous. Thirty percent of you probably daydreamed about it at some point today.

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And these days, thanks to social media, we can all feel a little bit famous every minute of the day. Even if you have only 50 Twitter followers, that is 50 people who seem to care about what you have to say, who might retweet a joke or like a photo. But those micro-fame moments become addictive and can destroy your self-esteem, rather than improve it like intended. Millions of people who post selfies on Instagram are bothered when they don't get enough likes and will even take posts down if they don't garner enough attention.

Researchers are now saying that one of the reasons America has so many mass shootings is because of the emphasis we put on fame. We see it all the time in the manifestos left behind by these shooters: They all want to surpass Columbine in infamy and body count, they want to be plastered on the news, and they want to become a household name. And it is only very, very recently (like, within the last year) that media outlets are learning to not give in to these desires. But as long as even one news channel concentrates on the killer, the need for a sick kind of fame will still motivate these people.

Assassinations are often driven by the same reasons. According to a study of people who have tried to kill politicians, it usually has nothing to do with politics and everything to do with getting people to notice them after a lifetime of being invisible. One guy who attempted to assassinate a vice president said he thought he might get a "whole chapter" in the history books for that.

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And while murder is definitely the worst manifestation of this obsessive need to be famous, there are other harmful ways people try to get their name in the news. It is mind-blowing how many 15-minutes-of-fame reality-TV stars have gone on to pose for Playboy, released a sex tape, or just straight-up started starring in porn. Now, far be it from me to judge these women (and some men) if they truly get joy and self-worth from putting their bodies out there for public consumption. But I have a feeling that for most of them it is a last-ditch effort to keep themselves relevant, even if they have to do something they never thought they would. When you would rather show the world your O-face than have them not give a shit about you at all, it might be time to question why.

Remember Justine Sacco? She was the most famous person online for a few days back in 2013. You probably posted something about how horrible she was. That's because she tweeted this:

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It was a terrible joke dashed off in a couple seconds, and it ended up making her famous. She also lost her job and her life was ruined for a long time. No matter what she achieves in her life, that will be what she is best known for. This is the other side of the celebrity coin; yes, your chances of being known outside your friends and family are better now than ever, but because of how easy it is for people to become well-known for anything, you might not have control over what you get famous for.

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Just ask the dentist that shot Cecil the lion. He had the correct permit to go big-game hunting, just like dozens of other people every year, but because he shot the wrong one he became an Internet celebrity. He also received hundreds of death threats and had to close his practice for weeks. Once you become famous online it is a free-for-all. It doesn't matter if you were a private citizen before that; now society owns you and usually will not be kind. That's because ...

Then there are the people we love to hate. The Kardashian family did not become as successful as they are today because everyone was ignoring them. But because we don't really think they deserve their fame, we are willing to believe almost any terrible thing about them. For example, when Lamar Odom was rushed to the hospital a few weeks ago, members of his estranged wife's family hurried to be by his side. And if you believe this Radar Online headline, they did so with cameras in tow, all ready to film that human tragedy for their TV show. It didn't matter that E! completely denied this; Radar still kept the article up and people continued to believe it because it seemed like something those fame-whores would do.

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This also explains why we feel perfectly fine piling on people who get famous on the Internet. After all, they are getting to experience the celebrity so many of us would kill for, so they should expect the negative side as well. You tweeted 500 jokes I loved but one that I thought was dumb? You're a faggot. Your latest Instagram selfie doesn't make you look as pretty as the last one? You're an ugly slut. I didn't enjoy this free article on a comedy website? I need to send a death threat to the writer.

Not that any of you lovely people have ever considered doing that last one.

For those of us who want fame but don't have it, that desire is almost never about actually becoming a celebrity. There is usually some unacknowledged need that we think being famous will fix. If you don't feel like you get enough love or recognition from your parents or significant other, you might want millions of strangers to fill that gap. If you can't afford all the things you want, you might see fame as a way to achieve wealth. Or maybe you just want to cheat death. As we get older and our chances to become famous in this life become limited, people start to concentrate on how to be famous after they die.

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We have to stop obsessing. If we're starting at 5 years old and only finally giving up on our deathbeds, we are wasting our lives chasing a dream that is not only hurting society but wouldn't make us happy even if we caught it. Those are millions of lifetimes wasted, when we could be banding together to make Michael Fassbender take his pants off again.

Kathy promises it won't go to her head if you buy her book FUNERALS TO DIE FOR. Or follow her on Facebook, Tumblr, and Twitter.

Fame is so sought after in our culture that people will lie their way to fame faster than it takes to snap a selfie. Check out the celebrities who did just that in 15 Famous People Who Lied Their Way To Fame. Some people are born famous, others have fame thrust upon them, and some just kick so much ass they have to be famous. See who got fame the right way in 5 Celebrities You Didn't Know Ass-Kicked Their Way To Fame.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel to see how the fame monster manifests itself in journalism in How Selfies Are Destroying Journalism, and watch other videos you won't see on the site!

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