... except, that is, for the Orpheum Theatre in New Bedford, Massachusetts.
"Man, I don't know," I hear you saying. "It certainly looks adequately scary, and I could definitely see myself settling down in the place and wandering its corridors wearing a mask and holding a giant mallet that makes sparks as I drag it across the floor. But I just stole all these orangutans from the zoo, and I've been meaning to teach them to use the miniguns I've had laying around since the Lyon heist. They'd wreck the interior within minutes." To which I say: Don't worry, the Orpheum has it all. Turns out the official name of the place is "La Salle Francs Tireurs," or "French Sharpshooters Hall." It combines the European tradition of enjoying the fine arts with the American tradition of shooting the s**t out of everything, by which I mean that it's a theater that also has a gun range.
Think about the options this gives you, regardless of your preferred brand of villainy. When Special Agent Lance Dickheart inevitably infiltrates the place, you can stalk him through the grimy corridors yourself. Or you can sic your army of now firearm-proficient Homicidapes at him, as you gloat safely from the rafters and lob the occasional grenade at your nemesis. Hell, you can even go full Batman villain by kidnapping the agent's sidekick and setting up a deathtrap on the stage. If you can't decide the theme of the trap, the theater will even help you with that: It just so happens that the place opened on the same day that the Titanic sank.