Sometimes a man wakes up one morning and thinks, "I absolutely cannot wait to do the humpy-jumpy with each and every woman I meet from now on." This is a terrible thought. Well, not always. But say you're a married father and your wife is no longer one of those humpees. And also maybe she's got a bit of a temper. Oh, that temper.
So Donessa Davis, a man with a curiously effeminate name, thought it would be best for him to put ads on Craigslist advertising his desire to ram his penis into things, notably lady inlets. Up to five women answered him, and they would meet at motels and most likely discuss the works of Luce Irigaray and sample artisanal cheese. Just kidding, they wiped their genitals on each others' faces and probably drank Pabst, the only food allowed in most motels.
Davis' wife discovered that her husband had been giving out rides on the baloney pony and took offense to this. Rather than confronting her husband directly, however, she contacted the women he'd been meeting, because apparently Davis had all the Internetting skills of a frontier-era prospector and had no idea how to keep his dalliances private.
"My Hotmail password was 1234, how did she crack it?"
After speaking with the women Davis had been shtooping, a plot was hatched. One of them contacted Davis to arrange a meeting. I like to think he was giddily anticipating some grunting and rutting about on sheets of suspect cleanliness while he met up with her and allowed her to both shackle and blindfold him. It was at this point that two more women he'd been seeing were invited into the room, and he probably realized something was afoot. And around the time they began to superglue his penis to his stomach, he was probably wishing he'd just gone home and watched a rerun of Big Bang Theory.
As you might expect, this kind of thing is illegal, so the women were arrested and charged with false imprisonment, and one also got a sexual assault and battery charged tossed in for punching him in the face, plus that penis gluing incident. Davis himself had to go to the hospital, where they busted out the Jaws of Life or whatever it is that detaches one's shlong from one's stomach in times of need. And he probably also learned a very valuable lesson.