Around this point, the theories tend to get depressing in the way you can probably imagine: Miley was killed off because she refused to partake in some Disney executive atrocity or another. That or any other imaginary horror scenario based on some interview where she said she'd kind of wanted a more normal childhood, as opposed to Hannah-Montana-ing her way through puberty. But whatever the route to her conspiracy-death, the end result is the same: The lovable chipmunk was caught in a drift store explosion, and what we see now is not the Miley of old, but instead a surgically grafted clone-actress-whatever.

'Course, the people touting this horsecrap utterly forget the most simple reason for Miley's current Mileyness: She's super rich, in her 20's, and living out the childhood she never had a chance to back in her days as a child star. Is there anything in her habits that can't be explained with some combination of those facts? No. Does this matter to the conspiracy crowd? Nope.

Be honest: Raise your hand if you actually want this theory to be true. My hand's raised, baby, and chances are that yours is, too. Think about it. I doubt many people would complain if the world had 23 times more Megan Fox than we assumed, especially since they appear courteous enough to make exactly as many Michael Bay movies as just one would. Shit, Vin and Jennifer can steal and hide all the Transformers movies they want, for all I care.

Actually, let's make a movie out of that. Who wouldn't pay a significant amount of money to see a film in which Diesel and Aniston sneak around Hollywood stealing and hiding terrible movies, chased by 23 Megan Foxes and a batshit insane man who looks like Sergeant Slaughter? No one, that's who.

Yep, any and every person with fame and a face is bound to end up in one of those lists sooner or later, either as some weird pharaoh time traveler reincarnation or a plain ol' immortal. Hell, let's point out right now that Vincent Van Gogh kind of looks like Chuck Norris, and we can be relatively sure that someone, somewhere is drafting that into a conspiracy. Maybe he's in part two of that video. Chances are, there are plenty out there.

Via Business Insider
It's ... it's uncanny.

Look, there are only so many ways to put a face together, and billions and billions of people have walked the earth over the years. Some folks are going to wind up looking like each other, even if they're not directly related. It's just natural and doesn't mean a thing.

Unless, of course, it does.

Think about the implications if every celebrity was indeed a time-travelin' great person of yesteryear, or a vampire, or some semi-divine immortal being who walks the earth while at the same time being stupid enough to risk getting found out by searching the limelight. Don't you kind of want that to be true, and for the cat to get out of the bag any minute now? The war between humanity and celebrities would be over within a week, no matter how strong and ancient they are -- that kind of bafflingly flawed logic would make beating them ridiculously easy, even with the most rudimentary of "club 'em in the head" tactics.

Still, everyone surely understands that the whole "celebrities = royalty" thing is just an expression for the changing priorities and norms of modern society. Surely, no one assumes that celebrities are, ha, literally cloned royals who now preside over us on their new thrones of fame, or some shit like that.

... Oh, god fucking dammit, conspiracy theorists.

According to a particularly inspired conspiracy, the Illuminati (man, those guys sure get around for a free-thinking boys' club that has been defunct since the early 19th Century) has been inserting royal blood into celebrity circles for quite some time in order to prepare an alien invasion (because of course). Their agent in these circles is none other than Shirley MacLaine, an 81-year-old Oscar winner and true entertainment veteran, who, in their minds, has managed to collect a list of filthy accolades even the Conspiracy POTUS can only dream of. Maclaine is not only a prime-class clone grown from DNA taken from the Saxe-Coburg royal line; she's also somehow the genetic ancestor of every single living royalty. She uses her royal fame powers to act in concert with the Illuminati and aliens, slowly dispatching the Hollywood notables and world leaders she meets and replacing them with some fucking pod people or whatever. She's also a demon-possessed satanic supreme priestess, because why not?

It's almost impressive, if only in terms of female empowerment, right up until the theory realizes it's giving a woman too much power, and takes time to point out that actually, MacLaine is also completely under the control of the CIA, which has used her as a sex slave for its missions. But who controls the CIA, then? It's a mystery, much like how these people manage to put their pants on in the morning.

If you harbor even a modicum of sanity, all that litany is really saying is that someone really, really doesn't like Shirley MacLaine, which is OK, because some of the things she says aren't the most likable. However, it's one thing to feel disdain, and entirely another thing to express this by painting someone as ... a pretty interesting supervillain for The Rock to fight against, come to think of it. For the three of you who actually thought all that makes sense, well ... did I mention they actually present the following video as proof?

Ah-HA! Did you see that shit? She called Meryl Streep "otherworldly!" It's all clear now -- Meryl has become yet another victim.