We wouldn't tolerate a $30 toaster pulling this bullshit.
This isn't even a question of comparing an old phone to a new one; our phones simply aren't as fast as they were when they were new. There's no physical reason for this; no dust or rust or bird droppings getting in there and jamming up the gears. No, the culprit is primarily OS and software updates. All these new software updates add new features and increased stability and improved security, yes, but they also tend to slow a system down with time.
Ruining the efficiency of your erotic selfie game.
The problem is all this new software is developed and tested on relatively new hardware. And once things run about right for the people making it, boom, they're done, ship it. Sure, they might do a little bit of testing on older hardware, but it often isn't taken that seriously. There's just an expectation that all their customers will be using fairly new hardware, an expectation which ultimately becomes self-fulfilling.
This will happen to just about any kind of computer hardware, but it becomes a real annoyance with systems with "forced" upgrades, that will stop working entirely if you don't run the latest software. Systems like smartphones. It's almost like they're deliberately sabotaging their own products to coax us into buying another.
But we'd never fall for that.
Chris Bucholz is a Cracked columnist and promises to never upgrade or improve himself in any way. As the author of the amazing novels, Freeze/Thaw and Severance he thinks you should definitely go buy both of those now. Join him on Facebook or Twitter.
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