The other notable side effects of higher HRV - increased stress, anger and irrationality are also seen commonly in another demographic: menstruating women. Thats right, a good portion of womens PMS symptoms are caused by the same increased HRV present in violent game players. So basically, Halo gives men PMS which actually completely explains Xbox Live (for those of you who arent gamers, Xbox Live is an online homophobia club for pre-teen Tourette's sufferers).
This is obviously disturbing news for healthy, well-adjusted adult males with a penchant for virtual murder, but on the upside, this is great news if you piss yourself every time you play Resident Evil now you have a valid medical excuse! You're not a total p***y! There's simply too much awesome violence in your daily gaming diet.
Image courtesy of Eran Cantrell
Stanford University recently published research that hopes to better explain game addiction. Theyve posited that competitive video games stimulate mens territoriality and dominance impulses, which they also say explains why women can understand video games, but their neurology doesnt house the same desire to conquer.
So, there you go: Girls dont like video games as much because theres something wrong with their brains.
"This is the face of brain damage." -Science
Hey, ladies, I didnt say it. That's science. Theres no use getting pissed off about it; you may as well give the cold shoulder to thermodynamics and refuse to sleep with string theory.
(Pro Tip: If you mention this fact to any women, try to explain it in exactly those words. If she tries to argue, just calmly state that its science you learned off the Internet, second-hand from a comedy site that shits irrefutable!)
They discovered that the mesocorticolimbic center (an area of the brain tied to reward and addiction) was stimulated much more in men by putting a series of players into an MRI machine while having them play a game in which the goal was to win territory by manipulating balls. Which begs the question, is the new Teabag Wars out already? I thought the release date was pushed back after that kid in Indiana died while emulating the Rising Dragon Forehead Slapper.