A Gunman Shot Four On The Way To Grabbing A Princess
Back in 1974, Queen Elizabeth's daughter Princess Anne was a major celebrity, and she'd caused a bit of a scandal by marrying a muggle, Mark Phillips. All eyes were on her, including those of a schizophrenic man named Ian Ball. Ball spent a year putting together a plan to kidnap Anne, wanting to ransom her and donate the proceeds to the NHS to fund the nation's psychiatric services. His goal was not exactly typical for a kidnapper, and neither was any other part of his scheme, which involved Queen Elizabeth placing 3 million pounds in 20 suitcases and personally flying solo to a drop-off point in Switzerland. Ball also had a secret weapon: two handguns smuggled from Spain. If that sounds unimpressive, note that the London policer officers he expected to face carried no guns at all.
On March 20, Ball blocked Princess Anne's limo with his Ford, then rattled at its doors with a pistol in each hand. Anne had only one bodyguard, and he did carry a gun, but it jammed. Ball shot him three times. The chauffeur then realized it was his time to shine and tried to intervene, so Ball shot him too. Next came a nearby police officer, whom Ball also shot. A tabloid reporter happened to be close enough and tried to talk the gunman down. Ball shot him as well.
With the car doors open, Ball tried to yank Anne out, and her husband tried to yank her back. Her dress split open in the tussle, and when Ball commanded her to come with him, she replied, "Bloody likely," and stayed put. Finally, another passerby who happened to be an amateur boxer managed to punch Ball until he panicked and fled, then an unarmed detective tackled him. Ball was committed to a mental hospital for the rest of his life. Every single person he'd shot recovered fully, and they spent the remainder of their own lives exuding a magical glow, which is the Universe's reward for saving a princess.
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