The crew approaches him again, and that's where the whole thing gets weird.
He tells the guy that if he weren't filming, he'd be "whipping [his] ass up and down this street." Quentin Tarantino. Possibly the least menacing man on our continent. The guy who, as far as we all know, has no training in any sort of fighting at all. The man who has dorkiness pegged on a Dungeons and Dragons level.
That's what makes me sad. Not that he got frustrated with paparazzi -- nobody likes those guys. But Tarantino instigated the whole thing, and apparently did it out of a belief that he is capable of winning a fight. Has he really made so many movies about badasses that he now considers himself one? Like he has somehow picked up the knowledge and physical ability to actually dish out an ass kicking, simply by writing about them? Because again, he's Quentin Tarantino. I'm fairly confident that my six year old daughter can beat him down. Has his reality become so warped that he believes he's not the same geek who used to work at a video store and collect board games based on TV shows?
Evidently. Because it's not the first time he's done it. That link is from the late 90s when he slapped and punched producer Don Murphy in a restaurant and then reenacted the whole confrontation on a talk show, saying, "A little bitch slap don't hurt nobody." So knowing this now, I've changed my opinion about him from a dorky guy who projects who he'd like to be into his movie characters ... to a dorky guy who actually thinks of himself as a badass gangster.
Or ... was that was all a performance done for the benefit of the camera? Because he thought it would make him look cool? That's even sadder, if you think about it. I'll never know, I'm not his therapist. Though if I was, I think my prescription would be 5000 Milligrams of a good, solid beating. Repeat if necessary.
Special thanks to the members in this thread for video suggestions, feel free to suggest your own.
For more Cheese, check out 5 Ways Television Went Crazy Since I Quit Watching in 2003 and The Top 10 Celebrity Sex Videos Nobody Wanted to See.
What the Hell Did I Just Read: A Novel of Cosmic Horror, the third book in David Wong's John Dies at the End series, is available now!