This isn't the tutorial easing you into the game. This is the whole game. "Learning the story of Jesus" is 1 percent hanging out with Yeshua and 99 percent performing errands for lazy assholes. In the next stage, a woman wants to be baptized by John, but she's too hungry to take the eight steps required. She can't summon the effort to go to the even closer pomegranate trees either, so you need to pick fruit for her. Lady, if you're too lazy to feed yourself, you have problems that baptism isn't going to solve.
Apparently Jesus has been slacking, because no one in the game is aware that sloth is a sin. "Pick up the pebbles that are literally at my feet for me." "Ugh, those herbs are, like, inches away. Little help?" "Hi, we fish for a living. Can you fix our boats for us, man who knows nothing about boats?"
"And get us all some lemonade. Mm, yeah. Lemonade."
See the "50" in the bottom left? That's how much crap I have to pick up to complete this level. It's too bad I only have 22 lightning bolts' worth of energy to do so, because no one else in the Holy Land bothers to do any work when the Sucker of Galilee can do it for them. So, like every Facebook game, you have to either come back hours later or throw down real money to keep playing. Remember, gamers, Jesus loves all of you. But he loves those of you with expendable income more.
When you finally reach the odd moments involving Jesus, it's hard to take him seriously, because look at him:
He doesn't look like the son of God being tempted by Satan in the desert; he looks like Zach Galifianakis being tempted into a strip club by Ryan Reynolds. The characters are too cartoonish, like stereotypes of what game characters actually look like.
"Dagnabbit, that mean ol' centurion's crucified someone again!"