There aren't a whole lot of upsides to having an affair. Sure, you get to experience a fun new slot, nozzle, squirt whistle, crap flap, chowder chute, or salty churro, but you have to do it on the sly, constantly looking over your shoulder. And when the gig is up, at best you ruin a relationship, and at worst all your s**t gets lit on fire on the lawn. Or someone cuts a dick off. That happens. More often than you'd think.
Knowing all the downsides to cheating, a logical person might assume the smart thing to do is break up with your significant other and then freely sprinkle your sex musk wherever you please. But that rarely happens. Some research indicates that one half of a couple will have an affair in 60 percent of all couples. That's a pretty significant number for a potentially life-changing act that you willingly commit. Imagine if 60 percent of people in a relationship opted to s**t in the Thanksgiving turkey at the in-laws. Not on. In.
Psychologically speaking, the reason someone goes all stupid and has an affair is that they're just really selfish and up their own ass. That's not psychology lingo poetry, but it can be broken down that way. An affair means personal validation. It's what the person having an affair wants to make them feel good about themselves. The other person is almost inconsequential. They tell the cheater they're special, they're sexy, they're smart. And that s**t feels good.
Some cheaters will manage to sustain a relationship, and even fall in love with the person they have an affair with, but the saying "Once a cheater, always a cheater" isn't just based on hurt feelings and a little smoke up the ass. Because even in that new relationship, over time, they're going to want new validation and new exciting feelings, and they'll stray once again. At its core, this behavior is the same kind of stunted s**t you see with a spoiled child who gets a new toy and immediately wants the toy the kid next door has instead. Or in more internet terms, when you buy something for the cat and it sits in the box instead. f****r.
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If you're cat's just gonna sit in the box anyway, why not just make the box furniture? Try a storage ottoman.
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