There's also been no real thought to organization or upkeep. There's a "News" section, but also an "Updates" section. There's a link to a T-shirt store that doesn't exist anymore, and a "What I'm watching" page that hasn't been updated since 2006.

GeorgeRRMartin.com

I mean, I think it hasn't been updated. It's possible that Martin hasn't seen a single movie since The Lake House, but I hope not. If that's true, someone should tell Mr. Martin that movies have gotten a lot better since then. Inception. No Country for Old Men. Wall-E. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World. These are just some of the movies that came out in the last six years that were better than a Sandra Bullock movie about trying to have sex using time travel and the United States Postal Service.

The Highlight:

If you click the spinning link called "Not a Blog," you get taken to George R.R. Martin's regularly updated LiveJournal blog!

GeorgeRRMartin.com
You could afford to have the 10 best designers alive all design you a page SIMULTANEOUSLY.

He even lets you know what his mood is with a little alien-head gif at the end of every update!

GeorgeRRMartin.com

If you read that thing, you'll be overwhelmed by how Martin is just, like, a dude. Sure, he's writing the most epic fantasy saga that ever was or will be, but he also writes LiveJournal blogs about the New York Giants and TV shows he likes. Just like me! God help me, but this website makes me just love George R.R. Martin so much. I don't care that he heartlessly [SPOILER ALERT]-ed my favorite [SPOILER ALERT] by brutally [SPOILER ALERT]-ing his head clean off with an axe in front of his own daughter, I still just adore the guy.

I mean, what if she's from St. Louis, or Austin? Their websites rule! I'll look like a total chump with LA's 1998 GeoCities affair.

The fonts are terrible, the colors are flat and boring, and there's not a single link or button that looks appealing. I'm not expecting games or anything, but I am expecting a website that doesn't make me want to hang myself.

The Highlight:

I found a reason to live! There's a link for the LA City website for kids!

LaCity.Org

It's almost exactly as boring as the rest of the site, except now you get to meet a bunch of original cartoon superheroes I've literally never heard of despite living here for the last four years. If you hold your cursor over (some of) the heroes, a word bubble appears and you get to read all about their story. Like the "Clean LA" fella with "super octopus strength," or the obvious Batman analogue named "The Grease Avenger" who lives in the sewers!

LaCity.Org
Yep, that's how a word bubble is supposed to look. Just let it cut off wherever you want. Excellent comic book font choice, too.

There's "Mr. Recycle," who is a robot determined to teach kids recycling, and a blue recycling bin with googly eyes taped to its face, which is a functionally identical but far less exciting version of the recycling robot.

LaCity.Org

There are a bunch of other characters on the page -- a crab, a plane, a train, some birds -- but you can't click on any of them or learn anything else about them, even though one of them is HOLY SHIT A BIRD FEEDING A HAND TO A SEAL!

LaCity.Org

I think I can probably trust that second link, because it knew without even asking me that I'd have trouble loading the video player. I had loads of trouble, thanks for checking, but no, I'm not interested in clicking anywhere to resolve that problem. I don't know what video is supposed to be playing there, but I do know all of the volume buttons on the player don't work, and I don't like not being in control of how loud your shitty martial arts music video is.

Blackbelttv.com
All broken.

Also, if you hold your cursor over any of the buttons, they change colors, but, like, horrible colors.

Blackbelttv.com
Hey, is that Darth Maul? Damn, I don't even have time to get into that.

The Highlight:

This ...

Blackbelttv.com

... is the site's background image. I don't know if that's a logo or a Japanese character or a crude snake orgy or if the designer's cat just got on the keyboard and made a bunch of squiggles, but I DO know it makes my eyes mad!

A lot of people say "simple is better," and that's true, but a lot of other people also say "that doesn't mean it should look like crap. You're a professional, it's 2012, step your game up."

(I don't know for sure that a lot of people say that.)

Collins isn't about loading her page with badge after badge of news links and blog links and store links, like George R.R. Martin; she just wants to focus on the essentials. Which is why it's even crazier that you can't actually buy her books anywhere on her site.

She has four buttons:

SuzanneCollinsBooks.com

If you click "Works," you get taken to a list of her books.

SuzanneCollinsBooks.com

And if you click on one of those books, you don't get taken to an Amazon link, or anything. You just get a bunch of quotes about and awards for that book.

SuzanneCollinsBooks.com

There's a "Quick Links" section at the very bottom with links to Amazon, Scholastic, Barnes & Noble and every other well-known bookseller ...

SuzanneCollinsBooks.com

... but those links don't take you to a page where you can buy one of Collins' books, they literally just take you to the homepage of Amazon or Barnes & Noble or Scholastic. Just helpful links, in case anyone needs to know how to get to Amazon.com.

I know she's just aiming for the basics with her site but, really, "Buy my book HERE" should absolutely be considered one of those basics.

The Highlight:

SuzanneCollinsBooks.com

You're adorable. Don't ever change.