The table uses reflections from the glass to read the level of your drink whenever you set it down, and determines the optimum time to order a replacement. See, some studies on drinking behavior suggest that if a personâs cocktail goes empty too long, theyâll be more likely to call it a night and go home or, if youâre anything like me, more likely to throw a chair at a Keno machine while repeatedly screaming âAttica!â until prompt service is rendered.
âTwo Gin and Tonics and some f*****g Mexi-fries! Thatâs all I want! Nobody has to die today!â
Conversely, if a waitress attempts to take your refill order too soon, you may feel annoyed and be less likely to order a refill or, again in my case, may politely request that the offending waitress âstep her s**t back outta my Kool-aid.â With Surface, you avoid all the indignities of being an indignant drunk. When the optimum refill level is reached, the table pings the bartender and sends a waitress to take the order, or - and if you're anything like me, this is the part thatâll have your liver creaming its fleshy pink jeans - you can use the menu on the display to order another one yourself ... without ever having to interact with another human being! This is literally one step removed from Robot Bartenders, and I do not think Iâm alone when I insist that this is exactly the type of ridiculous crap that the future was invented for.
As Cracked pointed out not too long ago, recent results released by the No s**t Department at the University of Wasted Funding have scientifically validated the âBeer Gogglesâ effect, wherein a drunk person is more likely to find a member of the opposite sex attractive as their blood alcohol levels increase. But hold onto your monocles, gentlemen, because the following announcement may cause them to literally pop from your faces in shock: These studies have also proven that alcohol generally âlowers inhibitions and judgment,â which could cause you to âdo or say thingsâ that you âmay later regret.â I'll give you a moment to retrieve your shattered eyewear and fan away the vapors of any women overcome by these scandalous revelations.