They don't come off at night and don't need to be reapplied like glue-on lashes. Convenient! Also stupidly expensive! The first set can run anywhere from $150 to $300. And that's just the bottom-shelf stuff. Some fancy-shmancy, ultra-rich, ultra-vain women get extensions made out of mink ...

iBeautiful

... which cost at LEAST $300 per set.

Not only are these extensions money pits, they're also incredibly time-consuming. Getting a full set takes about two hours. Getting them "filled" every few weeks (because they fall off) is about one hour. That's $1,500 per year spent solely on having the prettiest eyelashes possible, not to mention the time commitment of a cumulative total of an entire day spent sitting in a chair.

I'll admit that I'm vain 110 percent of the time and the way I look is important to me. However, the difference between eyelash extensions and simply wearing mascara or even glue-on lashes on special occasions is not that huge. I've never met a person that was like, "Oh, she'd be so much prettier if her eyelashes were longer!"

In fact, some surveys and studies suggest that men are actually turned off by fake eyelashes.

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And let's not forget that these ultra-expensive beauty treatments aren't exactly the healthiest. Eye infections from the glue used to hold the extensions in place are common. Eyelash extensions have tons of chemicals you can't pronounce or spell that can cause all sorts of medical complications that you also can't pronounce or spell.

They're a terrible investment in almost every way possible, but they don't appear to be going away anytime soon.

Unsurprisingly, that means when the "special day" finally arrives, women aren't shy to spend a small fortune on a dress they'll wear only once. According to a recent poll, 80 percent of respondents think Americans spend too much on weddings. Only a measly 12 percent feel that we spend a justifiable amount.

The wedding dress is a huge contributor. On average, women spend $2,000 to $5,000 on this otherwise useless garment, and that number isn't even taking into account alterations, veil, shoes, hair, makeup, and the therapy you'll need after dealing with the wedding-planning drama.

The most shocking part of it all? A lot of them don't even like the stupid things. According to this poll, 32 percent of women "cringe" at the thought of their wedding dress when they look back on it.

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So that's thousands of dollars spent on something you'll use for a few hours and potentially regret the rest of your life. Seems like a more economic and sane option would be to just get a nice white gown for a few hundred bucks and donate the rest of the money you would've spent to charity.

I mean, I know you're totally not going to do that, but still, it is a thing you could do.

However, key expenses aside, many women will spend thousands of dollars on pampering their furry accessories way more than any dog, or any living thing at all, could ever need. There should be a "child services" type of thing specifically for women who make their dogs spend too much time in people clothes. Your dog hates that. Everyone hates it. The people who sell you dog sweaters probably hate themselves for doing it. The only one getting anything from it is you.

It doesn't stop with clothes, though. Examples of people going overboard include spending over $3,000 on Christmas gifts for a dog and getting tattoos for hairless cats.

Cats don't even see their owners as their owners; they just think of us humans as other, really big cats. When you put clothes on them and give them tramp stamps, in their eyes, you're essentially being the shittiest littermate possible.

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Pets have no way of appreciating what some insane owners perceive as necessary luxuries. If they were as human as you seem to want them to be, they'd probably file a restraining order against you.

I understand the necessity for basic soaps and body lotion, but why the fuck do you need fancy "body butter" or those "handmade soaps" that look like herb-crusted goat cheese?

And what the fuck is "neck cream," anyway?

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There are loads of unnecessary and overpriced grooming products women are somehow convinced they need. Manufacturers use trigger words like "anti-aging" and "organic" -- or just "Dior" or "Gucci" often does the trick.

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These are items that no one but the owner ever even sees. A woman can wear a designer purse in public and at best maybe a few women will notice and secretly hate that she could afford it and envy her. But no one notices how much money you spent on an overpriced, designer, organic, made-with-18-karat-gold soap or lotion.

The same goes for perfume. Sure, smelling nice is ... nice. But a simple scented body spray should suffice. Does anyone really notice you spent 80 bucks on a urine-sample-sized bottle of Charlize Theron covering herself in gold?

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I don't think women buy expensive perfume to attract men. I suspect they do this because they feel gratified that they could afford to spend money on something so mundane and unnecessary. Because women know that no guy is ever saying, "Eh, her face and personality are OK, I guess ... but HOLY SHIT she smells so amazing I just have to fall in love with her!"

And they certainly aren't doing this to impress other women, because even girls aren't like, "Oh my god! She smells so good and expensive! I wish I was her! She's such a fashionista!"

No, this isn't for anyone but yourself. Personally, I don't want to smell like anything. I'd probably spend 80 bucks on something that could make me immune to getting any sort of odor (good or bad) on me.

I agree with the theory that women spend so much on athletic wear because of their insecurities -- spending loads of money on trendy clothes will impress other women at their yoga or spin class. Impressing guys isn't too hard, but impressing their peers at the local yoga studio is harder, and they're obviously willing to pay good money for it.

And the real kicker in all this overpriced-workout-wear nonsense is that Lululemon owns up to this with their bags that boldly display the saying "Friends are more important than money."

Lululemon

For more looks into the female psyche, check out 6 Things Everyone Knows About Women (That Aren't True) and 7 Female Behaviors That Baffle Men (Explained!).

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