So the Van Halen boys hooked up with new singer Sammy Hagar -- a man with seemingly less ego than Roth, and more of a traditional musician. A man who embraced Eddie Van Halen's desire to continually wimp up Van Halen with cheesy keyboards. So problem solved, right? Nope. After a successful decade with Sammy, it seems the boys hated him, too, and he was surprise-fired. Then came a bullshit publicity stunt where the band pretended to bring back David Lee Roth to help sell their greatest-hits album. Oh, that's only if you believe Roth instead of the VH boys, and I totally do. The band then hired ex-Extreme lead singer Gary Cherone. And then they fired him, too.
Part Three: The Firing of Michael Anthony
So Van Halen's doing nothing, Eddie's health is failing, and nothing's going on with the band. Michael Anthony says, hey, sure I'll play some dates with Sammy Hagar while nothing's going on with the band I played with for 30 years. And guess what? Anthony gets fired. As Anthony said in 2010:
"The major reason why I'm not in Van Halen is because I became friends with Sammy again. The Van Halen brothers never got over that. If they hold a grudge, they hold it forever."
Now, some may say that's bullshit, because Wolfgang Van Halen (Eddie's son and Anthony's replacement) is a far better musician. Sure. Why not? It's not hard to be a better bass player than Anthony. He's merely serviceable, but, y'know, good enough to play bass for the band for 30 years, so it's not really clear why that matters. Also, anyone who says that is missing Anthony's real value: his killer high-end vocal. David Lee Roth gets it, and has spoken openly about wanting Anthony back in the band for precisely that reason:
"What we have at our fingertips is arguably one of the greatest high tenor voices ever and that was in Michael Anthony. . . . In our tiny little corner of the universe, that voice is as identifiable as the high voice in Earth, Wind & Fire, as identifiable as the high voice in the Beach Boys ... so I would always look forward to that reunion."
So after reviewing the footage, my verdict is that the VH boys are guilty of putting their own personal line-in-the-sand petty spiteful mentality over the music, just like Roth said they did 30 years ago when this whole thing started.
GLADSTONE'S NOTES FROM THE INTERNET APOCALYPSE IS ON SALE NOW!
After experiencing the joy of purchasing Book 1 of the trilogy, be sure to follow Gladstone on Twitter.
Also, you can get all your Internet Apocalypse news here.