The biggest (perhaps obvious) thing that no one ever tells you about getting older is that it happens a lot earlier than you think it will. It sneaks right up on you, and as much as you'd like to think that you'll handle it efficiently, gracefully and with some level of dignity, like a Gentleman Ninja, the reality is that you'll spend a few years awkwardly stumbling around like an embarrassing baby deer learning how to walk for the first time, (except also the deer has a lot of knee pain from an old basketball injury). You will not be good at it, because it's a brand new life for you, and while there are a lot of really awesome things that go along with that life, there's also a terrible, brand new vocabulary. Words and phrases that either didn't exist to you or had a completely different meaning when you were in your teens and early twenties. Here are some of the ones I've learned so far.
When you're in high school or college, a "cleanse" just sounds like a pretentious version of "wash." You'd hear someone say "I'm going to take a shower and cleanse myself," and you'd hate them, and you'd be right to.
But cleanse has an additional meaning, one that most kids in their teens and early twenties have no reason to know. When I was a freshman in college I did know the alternate meaning because, for a few months, (to help pay for school), I worked as a telemarketer selling an all-natural Bowel Cleanser over the phone. It was a kind of juice that you were supposed to drink every single day. The goal of the juice was to flush absolutely everything out of your system, via your butt. It is not, (my employers would have me stress to potential clients on the phone), a simple laxative. It is a cleansing agent designed to rid your body of all its dangerous and unhealthy toxins that would otherwise build up in your colon and stay there for years. It was supposed to make your skin healthier, your energy higher, and your bowel movements smoother and more pleasant. In my training session, my managers told me that, when he died, 25 lbs of human fecal matter was found in John Wayne's colon, and while we weren't legally allowed to say that using a bowel cleanser would have saved his life, we were encouraged to casually bring that story up and let our customers draw their own conclusions about the magic, healing power of bowel cleansers.