The easiest part of parent teacher night for most parents is probably being a parent. You've likely had those kids sitting around messing up the joint for years, doing stuff that makes no sense to you and leaving the toilet seat up after pooping for some reason. When I was a kid I pooped in the tub once. Not while I was using the tub, just for a change. That's what we call a non sequitur.
Having no kids of my own, the easiest way to acquire some is online. Haha, no, I didn't buy some through a third-party intermediary who operates out of Marrakesh and can be found with a simple Google search of a small handful of relevant keywords you'd only know if you had perchance some history in trafficking in body parts in the past. That's absurd. I went to a school website.
Now, you real parents and people with a functional moral compass might find this part disturbing in some way, but, hey, maybe you never thought people like me went to school websites and looked up school newsletters to get the names and homeroom teachers of various students. Now that you know, aren't you creeped out? That stuff is right on the Internet. On the other hand, it's all over Facebook, too, often with home addresses and phone numbers. Good thing I'm not a monster! Ah, chuckle break.
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