I'd also write songs in my lab, songs I would share with no one. There was one song about school being out for the summer, and "I'm So Happy, Someone Slap Me" was both the title and the only lyrics in the song, repeated over and over again. I also wrote a song about what I wanted to be when I grew up. There's a really cool key change in the song that would be enough to make it my best work, but it also featured the lyric "I don't wanna be a crocodile, I just wanna make you smile," which I guess cancels out whatever goodwill I'd earned with the frankly inspired key change.
Why bring all of this up? Because, every night before I go to sleep, I thank God or Aliens or Neil Tyson or Luck or the Spectacular Randomness of the Universe that YouTube didn't exist when I was a kid.
See, when I was a stupid kid, making terrible midnight sketches or embarrassing music videos in my lab, I just recorded it onto a VHS tape. And then I'd stick the tape in my TV, watch it, conclude "Nope, there's nothing wrong with that; that's as good as anything I've ever seen on television, I'm gonna be famous," and move on. I'd film my SNL knockoff sketches one week and then erase them the next week to make room for my new SNL knockoff sketches. Then I'd erase that a week later and replace it with a song about my dog, or a song about how I wanted the girl who sat in front of me in English class to notice me, or a song about professional wrestler Sting, and how cool it would be if the two of us solved mysteries and were friends.
Stingin' the Blues is what our album would be.
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