Last weekend saw the rerelease of the prequel of one of the Star Wars movies, because apparently no one's gotten tired of that shit yet. Rejiggered to now be in 3-D -- because no one's gotten tired of that shit yet, either -- a number of other changes are evident in the film when compared to its original theatrical release. There's a new Yoda now, some tweaked special effects and, probably, an extra 28 hours of scenes set in the Galactic Senate. This is fairly typical for the Star Wars franchise, which has a long history of "special editions" and "rereleases" and something called "laserdiscs," all of which feature movies that are slightly different from each other. People who always have a little bit of fudge on their faces have tracked these changes exhaustively and, as is their way, at times have even gotten quite upset about them. News that Lucas was planning changes again with this latest rerelease even prompted threats of a boycott from these folks, news that delighted scientists who had created a device capable of measuring extremely small threats and were looking for something to calibrate it with.
Getty "0.08 microPescis. Incredible!"I'm not actually going to get too condescending here, because I am more or less a
Currently available in 12 different cuts, the most recent of which implies that Deckard was a ghost the whole film.Really, if Lucas wants to fix something he thinks was a mistake in an earlier film, that's his business. Our lives aren't affected in any serious way if he changes it, nor does he have a contract with us to preserve
But it turns out that not
... it's been forgotten that a lot of the changes actually kind of improved the films. Here's a small one:
Oooh, who's a sexy little torus? You're just a dirty old space orifice, aren't you?And here's another ...
"I'm an AARB-certified Master Complainer, and I've been out of a job since 2007 when the Revenge of the Sith hate petered out, and what are you going to do about that, Mr. Lucas?" -- thunderous applause, chants of "SUCK MORE, SUCK MORE, SUCK MORE"
Because you know it's coming, and you know it will make your blood shit.
Being a household name doesn't exactly make someone a role model.
Forget 'morale-boosters,' we'd rather have the money.
Trends among women trigger a level of contempt that's way beyond what is deserved.