On four separate occasions we showed the house to a potential buyer, only to find out at the end of the tour that the wholesome family man checking out the place alone (because his "wife" was at "work" and his "kids" were with their "grandparents") was actually a real estate agent who wanted to poach our sale and probably murdered and ate his actual family. That's what happens when you put your house on the market through an online real-estate-listing service like Zillow.
Zillow is like Craigslist for houses. Put the place up for sale, then sit back and let the prospective buyers wave fat stacks of money at you in a screaming mob like old-timey stock market traders. That's what we thought was going to happen. In reality, putting a house on one of these sites as a "for sale by owner" is like giving your email address to a "Fuck Hot Singles in Your Area" banner ad on a porn site: all you're doing is inviting the pure, concentrated, evil essence of spam mail into your life. Email services filter out spam before it reaches your inbox. Unless my girlfriend had a motion-activated gun turret on her front lawn, there was no way to stop the onslaught of real estate sharks from using every creepy tactic in the real estate chapter of The Necronomicon to slither into our lives.
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"Coat walls with virgin's blood to cleanse the space of unwanted souls."
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