Surprisingly, not the poster for the long-awaited Blue Man Group movie.
That is because Titus Andronicus is seriously, epically terrible.
The plot is convoluted, but here is a very basic summary. The Roman general Titus Andronicus does horrible things to the family of Tamora, Queen of the Goths. In return, she does terrible things to Titus' family. Their feud escalates to ridiculous levels, and everyone leaves the theater feeling sick.
The exit is called a vomitorium for a reason.
Or, to borrow Shakespeare expert S. Clark Hulse's description:
There are 14 killings, 9 of them on stage, 6 severed members, 1 rape (or 2 or 3, depending on how you count), 1 live burial, 1 case of insanity, and 1 of cannibalism -- an average of 5.2 atrocities per act, or one for every 97 lines.
In other words, a lot of blood and gore, not so much character development or even good writing. The violence is so over-the-top that some Titus apologists wonder if the play wasn't meant to be a spoof on the violent plays of other authors at the time. And sure, we're talking about the guy who turned suicidal teenagers into the pinnacle of love stories, but a mother being forced to eat her children in a pie is probably going a bit far.
Who knew watching South Park was so cultural?
Reviewers have been weighing in for 400 years, and it has rarely been pretty. The poet T.S. Eliot called Titus "one of the stupidest and most uninspired plays ever written." English dramatist Edward Ravenscroft called it "a heap of rubbish." Even when the movie came out, reviewers who enjoyed the film, like Roger Ebert, felt the need to point out that they liked it in spite of the terrible source material.