You know Gimli. He's the token Dwarf in the Fellowship of the Ring and pretty much the only member of the party who doesn't really accomplish anything of significance in the course of the movie trilogy. He exists mainly to fill the ever-important role of a bumbling goddamn ass.
Except that he isn't a bumbling ass at all. Go check the books -- dude's hardcore. In the source material, Gimli isn't just some schmuck tagging along as an obligatory representative of the Dwarven minority, oh no. He's the absolute cream of his people's crop, a wise and strong combatant who is able to lay the smackdown on equal terms with Legolas, Middle Earth's premier effeminate parkour murder machine. Even in the movies, where he spends roughly 120 percent of his screen time as comic relief, he actually wins a "let's see who can kill the most orcs" dick-measuring contest between the two, armed with only a battle-ax, as opposed to Legolas' mumakil-slaying arsenal of bows and arrows and blades and mad skillz that is prominently displayed throughout the trilogy, to the point where the Elf's kick-assery even bleeds through to the Hobbit franchise. Yeah, Gimli beats his ass. Add this to the fact that he's portrayed with extreme gusto by a massive Welsh man that looks like he eats three Orlando Blooms for breakfast ...
Frank Micelotta/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images
753 Comments