... and you should have a pretty bad larger-than-life motherfucker on your hands.
Gimli being a total hard-ass makes sense in every way. It justifies his presence in the Fellowship as a key player of the team, rather than some guy who just started rambling about axes at the meeting in Rivendell. It explains his ability to keep up with Aragorn and Legolas, the respective uber-specimens of their races, and his bromance with the latter that in the movies comes out more like Legolas taking a pet monkey than a legitimate, respect-based friendship between two strong warriors. Yet, in a movie trilogy rife with wacky hobbits and cartoonishly slimy villains, they wind up portraying the Dwarf as little more than an overreacting butt monkey. Sure, I get why they do it. The initial comic reliefs, Merry and Pippin, are way too busy having horrible things happen to them for the vast majority of the trilogy's runtime to actually, you know, be super funny and shit. Still, it bugs me just how eager the filmmakers are to make Gimli the clownish oaf, to the point where he doesn't even have to actually appear in the movie to be its laughingstock. In The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug, there's a scene where Legolas mistakes a picture of baby Gimli for a "mutant goblin." As callback jokes go, that's kind of harsh, considering we're talking about a character who is essentially a spectacularly bearded Wolverine: hairy, short, snarky, good at murder and sharp objects, and fucking terrible at giving up.
New Line Cinema
Keep that image in mind, see the look on his face, and wonder how this scene somehow doesn't
end with a horde of Elven archers beaten to death with their own arms.
And that is why we -- no, I -- need a Gimli movie. Would it be a cinematic masterpiece? No. Would it skull-fuck Tolkien's memory in a way the Hobbit movies can only dream of? Absolutely. But how badass would, say, 90 minutes of Gimli scream-hacking his way through Moria, Doom-style, be on a scale from Wuthering Heights to Arnold punching out a camel? There wouldn't be enough camels and punches in the world to properly rank that film.
Besides, I think this is the least Hollywood can do after subjecting us to five Tolkien movies where the only Dwarf fighting styles are "clumsy fuckery" and "put the fattest one in a barrel and make him spin around."