Then, five years later in 2000, Willis starred in The Kid, a seemingly heartwarming movie about a total jerkass meeting his kid self through wholesome magic or whatever. While interacting with Lil' Bruce, he decides to unjerk his ass after learning that being nice will eventually make him a millionaire and let him bang Emily Mortimer, like in some kind of cynical capitalistic version of A Christmas Carol.
DISNEY’S The Kid. Well that explains it." width="350" height="238" class="lazy" data-src="https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/article/4/7/0/647470_v2.jpg" />Walt Disney PicturesAh, it’s actually DISNEY’S The Kid. Well that explains it.
OK, well, if you've been in as many movies as Bruce has, everything probably turns up twice. There's probably some other movie wherein he steals a motorcycle after a rapist gets his dick shot off. But then in 2012, we of course got Looper, in which Willis plays a remorseless murderer who escapes from some other murderers into the past, where his younger-though-equally-murderous self tries to murder him. They even did makeup on Joseph Gordon-Levitt to make him look more like a young Bruce Willis, and you can barely tell it's not real!
TriStar PicturesThey ... they know that we know what he looked like at that age, right? Like, we have entire movies and stuff ...