Did you ever watch a movie and wonder what happened to the characters after the credits? Or see a movie and think: Hey that character reminds me of someone from another movie? No? Hmm. Did you ever wake up with something that looked like a blister on your junk, but without any discharge? (That last question is unrelated to the column. I'm just trying to figure out if I should see a doctor.)
In any event, recently I noticed that there were certain movies which, although not designed to be, are like sequels to earlier, unrelated films. Movies that show you what would have happened years later if only you use a little imagination and poetic license, and I thought it would be fun to pair some of them up in a list.
Know what else I noticed? There are a whole bunch of people who like to comment on articles who don't actually read them. They miss the conceit of the entire article that's set up in the introductory paragraphs and jump from the title to the entries. I'm also not sure they read the entries. It's basically title, entry title, pictures, comment. So yeah, for them, this column will be a bit of a confusing train wreck. And even though they are the worst people in the world afflicted with all manner of masturbatory-induced venereal diseases, maybe you'd be good enough to point them to the first two paragraphs above. And don't worry about them getting offended by the preceding sentence. They won't read it.
OK, so here we go:
Say Anything/Blue Valentine
In 1989 Cameron Crowe released what I like to call his best film about a simple, but kind-hearted, lower middle-class 19-year-old high school graduate named Lloyd Dobler. Lloyd has a crush on Diane Court: a smarter, highly motivated, upper middle-class girl. Lloyd has no true ambition in life other than being with Diane, and he treats her well. Ultimately, she bows to family pressure and breaks up with Lloyd. Do you remember how he wins her back?
Yeah, not like this. This just pissed off the neighbors.
Although a memorable scene, Lloyd's Peter Gabriel-infused serenade does not save the day. Instead, after breaking Lloyd's heart, Diane comes back to him when she is struck by a family tragedy - her father (and basically only friend) is arrested and imprisoned for stealing money from the old folks at his home for the aged. She is alone and turns to Lloyd for help. Lloyd admits he loves her so much that it doesn't matter if she's back because she wants him or just because she needs someone, and they go off to a new life together.
Unless of course they crash and burn in a fiery death. We just don't know.
Well twenty one years later director, Derek Cianfrance explored similar themes with his ultra-depressing and ultimately half-baked movie called