This piece was written by the people who run the Cracked Store to tell you about products that are being sold there.
For as long as there has been an internet, there have been people trying to beat the system. From phishing schemes to fake Nigerian Princes just looking for a quick loan of your entire bank account, the Worldwide Web is wall-to-wall with hackers and scammers.
But what's bad news for many can be good news for some. Just like the stock market crash was great for the bank foreclosure sign business, so too is an internet stockpiled with evildoers good for experts in cybersecurity. Here's why there's never been a better time than now to become a sheriff of the interwebs:
Talented Hackers Are In Short Supply
For the amount of cyberattacks that are constantly happening, there are not nearly enough people who know how to prevent against said cyberattacks. The reason is stringent hiring practices. There's a massive skill gap between a great cyberdefender (think Q in most James Bond movies), and everyone else (think Q in Skyfall). And the current crop of professionals can't come close to filling the growing demand. Companies have a lot of difficulty finding good candidates for security roles, and will pay handsomely for the best ones. If you want to be among the best (or if you want to method act your way into the next Q spot), then check out this Cybersecurity Certification Mega Bundle.
It Pays Well To Be A Security Engineer
Yeah, about the pay ... Experienced engineers can definitely expect to make six figures, and even those just starting out can expect to be paid generously for their services. In fact, IT job board DICE reported that lead security engineers were making on average $233,333 per year in 2016. For context, your average American worker makes about $45,000. Take it from a bunch of online comedy writers who can barely afford their ramen (Chicken favoring packets? SURE, Mr. Rockefeller), this Cybersecurity Certification Mega Bundle is more than worth it.
You'll Be Keeping The World's Data Safe
Whether you end up protecting the credit card numbers of white-collar adulterers or working for the government to keep its dirtiest laundry in the hamper, you can take pride in knowing that you're bestowing privacy on the masses like some kind of dick-pic Heimdall. Since confidential communication is our last guarantor of personal safety from future autocrats, your expertise will become more essential in the years to come. And while you may not always agree with the data that's being encrypted, you surely can agree with the freedom to encrypt it. For that, we salute you, and we salute this Cybersecurity Certification Mega Bundle.
You Can Get A Job In Security Without A Degree
While there are a lot of skills necessary to be a capable hacker, none of them need to be learned on a college campus. The road to being an expert in cyber security simply starts with having a strong understanding of computers. Considering that nowadays, humans practically receive a smartphone with their birth certificate, we're willing to bet you're on the right track without even meaning to be. With over 85 hours of content, these courses will give you the requisite knowledge to pass standard industry exams. Get the Cybersecurity Certification Mega Bundle here for just $69.
Is that all I need?
Pretty much. Then you too can dispense cyber justice on the seedy underground that is the internet. You can find even more learning bundles at the Cracked Store, and some far-out T-shirts in the Cracked Dispensary. One last word of advice: Some companies even hire former cybercriminals as consultants, so if nothing else, you can finally disregard those letters you got from HBO after torrenting Curb Your Enthusiasm.
Every hacker worth their salt knows you gotta treat your computer like the queen she is. So slip your hardware into something a little more comfortable with this Black Cat Selina Laptop and iPad Skin. If the handheld route is more your speed, we've still got you covered. Check out this 5th Turtle iPhone and iPod case. You're welcome.
For more epic computer skills, check out Your Boss Thinks You're Dumb, So Prove Him Wrong With Excel.
Plenty of everyday things have weird connections to the Nazis.
Let's plumb the depths of the strangest, most intriguing mysteries the web has to offer.
The thing about plot twists is that they almost never make sense on repeat viewing.
Sometimes the silliest goofballs get away with the vilest things.