4 Reasons You're Going To Hate The New Mike Myers Movie

So last week's HBN on Kid Rock was kind of a big deal for me. It hit the widest audience of anything I've ever done in my life. (Not counting my hilarious turn as www.suicidegirls.com in Swaim's Internet Party skit where all but a quick shot of my black nail-polished left hand was cut from the video at the very last second.) But with that larger audience came, not only an outpouring of support, but some nasty hate mail. In truth, I spent most of Tuesday crying. Fortunately, my Cracked family was there for me: Mike Swaim dressed up like a clown when he raped my dog, Dan O'Brien regaled me with forgotten stories about our days as a crime-fighting duo, and Chris and Ross ignored me in a friendlier, more empathetic way. It really is like one complete loving family. Jack is the hard-drinking absentee father and Lex is the Uncle who's not allowed to babysit anymore. We need a mom. Anyway, today we're looking at the trailer to Mike Myers new movie The Love Guru. It makes me sad to think that if I ever meet Mike Myers he won't like me because he's seen this HBN. But then again, I don't think I'll ever meet him and I really don't think he watches my video segments. So I'm probably on safe ground.

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