The Westboro Baptist Church is a 24-hour news network's supercharged wet dream. They're hateful, vocal, and mobile, and they never run out of ways to anger the average viewer. Have you gone into a public restroom and been appalled to discover that some uncouth monstrosity has opted to spatter the walls and floor with a burst of fecal confetti? That substance, along with the way it makes you feel, is basically personified in Westboro.
If you aren't aware, the church is a 40-member hate group based out of Topeka, Kansas. They espouse extreme pseudo-Christian beliefs and are mostly known for their hardcore anti-gay ideology and the fact that they will actively picket the funerals of soldiers, children, and celebrities with signs celebrating the deaths and assorted other colorful shittery plastered on Bristol board. You know those cramps you get if you eat undercooked chicken wings? Like a twisting pain, as though the diarrhea you're moments away from experiencing decided to have a knife fight in your colon? Now imagine those cramps out on the street with colorful signs and a wardrobe from Big Lots. I can't stress enough how much like shit these people are.
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