In the very first book of the Bible, God does a favor to the very first man, Adam, after Adam complains that if he is ever in a television ad there will be no one to condescendingly fix his tie before he leaves the house. God concurs that a human update is needed and puts Adam to sleep with some sweet Garden of Eden anesthesia. He then grabs a rib from Adam's body, fashions it into a woman named Eve, and closes up his chest-parts. Luckily, Adam and Eve were the only humans on Earth at that point, because your future wife being formed from a gaping wound in your chest would make for some weird "how we met" stories at parties.
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"And then Adam was like, 'God, I want a fluffy pet cat,' and he wasn't using his
medial cuneiform bone anyway, so ..."
But because nothing in this world is ever straightforward, others have claimed that it wasn't really a rib that God used to create Eve. It was a bone from Adam's dick.
The Crazy Theory
Next time you're observing a flaccid human penis flopping around during a naked dance-off, spare a thought as to why that penis is so flexible. No, really -- sit down and think about those unboned ligaments flopping back and forth like an American flag in a strong wind. Done? All right.
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