Oh, and regarding "MMMBop": Teenage-me was wrong about them singing nothing. Despite its gibberish chorus, the song is actually a treatise on mortality and friendship. Basically, most friendships are fragile and end quickly ("In an mmmbop, they're gone" was simply a poppy way of saying "anything good can end in a New York minute"), so it's important to keep making new friends and to hold on to the few that last, because they're the only ones who will stay by your side as the cold touch of the Grim Reaper draws nearer and nearer.
Ten-year-olds wrote that.
Justin Bieber Taught Himself To Kick Ass At Every Instrument
Jerome Favre/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images
Two years ago, I kicked off this jaunty column of mine by sticking up for Justin Bieber. So why not do it again? It's clearly what the Internet clamors for.
He's been pretty quiet lately (getting publicly eviscerated by pissed-off celebrities is a surprisingly effective intervention), but he's still barely fixed his public image. Where once we saw an untalented, annoying pretty boy who made terrible music and did terrible things, now we see an untalented, annoying pretty boy who lives in fear of Jeffrey Ross saying more mean things about him.
The next "lesbian twink with a shitty mustache" joke might be the one that
makes him commit mass murder.