The worst part is that they don't have to be terrible. An airplane is the one place where the print industry doesn't have to compete with electronic media and where the audience is literally strapped down with nothing to do. Instead of producing something engaging and fun, they produce a limp, skinny magazine that passengers would rather push aside just to look through SkyMall at products they will never buy or even want.
So where is the heart, United? Where is the gritty reality, Delta? Where is the existential catharsis everyone is ready to have at 32,000 feet, Frontier? The answer, of course, is in the stories and essays I sent to each them, and which they promptly rejected. I've included excerpts of each below to prove how drastically they would improve their stupid magazines. I'm not bitter about the experience, but if on your next flight you wanted to print out a copy of these and glue them inside your in-flight magazine, I'm not sure how anyone could stop you, provided your glue container is less than 3.5 ounces.