If the mysterious, secluded sex cult you belong to permits its members to watch only one YouTube video per day, for the love of the Crotch Lord, let it be this one:
Those glorious 49 seconds make a wonderfully pompous attempt to depict the history of the wheel, showcasing everything from clumsy prehistoric stone things to high-tech car tires, complete with era-appropriate sound effects and a general feeling of speed ... ladies.
No, seriously, ladies. All that burning rubber and those crushing granite tires are meant to turn you on, because the final stage of the metamorphosis is this fucking thing:
This is what happens if you listen to Gene Simmons' solo albums on a Sony Discman.
Yes, ma'am, that is indeed a wheel full of tongues. This unfortunate device is called Sqweel 2, which I assume implies that it's a wheel that makes you squeal, and now we all have slightly less of our soul left because we had to trudge through this sentence, and I'm sorry. A sequel to the fairly popular Sqweel, the world's supposedly greatest oral simulator for women, Sqweel 2 works in the exact way that you suspect. It even has changeable squealin' wheels, which are called Sqweelers, because there's always a way to make things even more uncomfortable.